TURN OVER THOSE HIDDEN STONES
This scripture brings two important points alive in my heart; one, Christ will return when we least suspect it; and two, we need to have sound spiritual awareness of own relationship with Christ. For myself and I am sure many of you this takes us directly to the two great commandments of God. Love our God with our whole being and our brothers and sisters as ourselves.
On a personal note I find it necessary to let you know at this point I was an alcoholic, drug taking, devil believing discard of life. Who challenged God, that if he was real He was going to have to prove it to me. And God truly opened my heart and we began a journey. A journey into love where the Holy Spirit convicted me about my dealings and feeling towards others. Please indulge me as I share this jorney with you.
For many years I attended church faithfully using the sermon and pastors prayers as my spiritual food for the week. I was going to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night faithfully building my religious dialog. Contently I allowed religion to happen to me and not within me; satisfied completely with the twice weekly praise and pastors doctrinal sermons. Oh yes, I was so to say “saved” I had confessed my sins to Jesus and welcomed Him into my heart; believing in my heart and confessing with my mouth. Carefully I corrected my speech to reflect my Christendom conversion. Yet I was going about my day to day life in the everyday business with the same approach I had used my entire life; with the exception that church offered a whole new customer base.
A personal tragedy brought me to once again question God in my quest to find out from God why these events happen and what good could come from it. I now know that the event had nothing to do with the outcome. However by God’s grace, God used the event to bring me to question my relationship with Him. God was standing with open arms for me to give Him my whole heart and my whole life. To this point I had only been picking and choosing what I would turn over to Him. The truth came to me as I realized God’s desire was to be intimately close and He wanted to receive everything in my heart, mind and soul not just what I chose to give to Him.
In God’s perfect time I discovered the true translation of “Saved” was complete or whole; bringing to me the knowledge while I was safely covered with His love (delivered from sin and death) and in the safety of His embrace I was also on a journey to be spiritually complete or whole. And a true knowledge of the passage from Philippians became a reality in my heart:
NAB Philippians 2:12 “So then, my beloved, obedient as you have always been, not only when I am present but all the more now when I am absent, work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” So I have to state clearly hear: That I believe our Salvation to be an ongoing process, I am sealed for redemption by the Holy Spirit and seek earnestly all truths in the face of my Lord Jesus Christ; that step by step I progress from the state of sinner to the likeness and image of our Lord Jesus Christ; that I be in Him as he is also is in the Creator our Father God; a process of growth involving Spirit, Body and Soul. The more I learn the more I am acutely aware of how little we really do know.
With these revelations in my heart I transform my religion to an intimately personal relationship with Jesus and my true journey in Christ began. God’s love is intimate he desires us to turn over our whole heart especially as the days of true peril arrive; that we are safe and secure.
One of the first and foremost things set in my spirit mind
(NKJ 1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.) was to know God’s great love for me as best I could in the flesh; that I might know how to love and express that love back to God through Jesus Christ, for our first commandment is to love God…God may have brought us to knowledge of Him in thousands of differing ways, however, once we acknowledge God there is a set pattern in the Bible and made abundantly clear that the first order of God is to love Him…God first loved us in creation once we acknowledge God we now have the ability to fall in love with Him and give that love priority in our lives and everything we do. I sometimes think we lose sight of the importance of Just plain loving God in reverence and awe, as well as, expressing that love to Him not only in our faith toward Jesus but remembering: RSV Matthew 22:36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?" 37 And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."
First I have to admit I wanted to believe God was my creator in my heart; living so worldly for so many years I admit there was little strands of doubt in my heart from the years of believing the world’s knowledge on the subject. We serve a miracle working God for in my heart a vision of Genesis became a reality in my heart. For even before the words of creation formed on His lips
He knew me, He named me, He loved me, He placed in His heart hope for me that I might find Him and know Him intimately fulfilling my destiny in Him through His Son. Even as he separated the light from the darkness and all that was to be for His creations laws of nature and time where forming God chose to be souverentghrent set apart that we might never know the anguish of loneliness for the age to come that we that we might come to know fully the extent of His love and communion with those who chose to seek His Sons likeness in heart and mind within His Son. No greater love is there than our God’s.
He created us with the ability to create that we might come to understand how powerful the love within creation is; not just in our ability to procreate, reflect those feelings and know he feels the same about you. If you have no children can you remember that first project or event where you created something with the work of your hands, the love for it, the pride and accomplishment you felt within…that is same pride and accomplishment he feels when he looks upon your heart and into the hearts of those that seek Him; There is no greater love my friend. RSV Isaiah 49:5 And now the LORD says, who formed me from the womb to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him, and that Israel might be gathered to him, for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD, and my God has become my strength --RSV Isaiah 44:2 Thus says the LORD who made you, who formed you from the womb and will help you: Fear not, O Jacob my servant, Jeshurun whom I have chosen. (Jeshurun "the righteous people": Israel's ideal character with His high calling (Deut. 32:15; 33:5,26; Isa. 44:2).
Once this was sealed in my heart and I from my deepest point of reasoning believed with my whole heart that God was indeed my creator God and He would do all He has said He would do, transformation after transformation became reality in my life. These truths began manifesting as I in developed an inner man truth as I became totally aware of my own lack of any truly love filled perception as in Paul’s prayer for us in Ephesians 3:14
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,
15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with might through his Spirit in the inner man,
17 and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fulness of God.
20 Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think,
21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.
With this prayer in my heart I knew I had sever lack of love in my heart; I was void of any true love, realizing that only through Christ can true love be cast I took this warning to a deep place in my heart:
RSV Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, with all malice, 32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Adding to this, the clear statement in John that if we do not love our brother we do not love God. “NKJ 1 John 4:19 We love Him because He first loved us. 20 If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
Through these scriptures I came to the realization that to love God meant loving all men. At this point all my opinions and feelings toward others came to a new presence within me. I had taken the bulk of my trespasses and made them of no effect making all forms of excuses to myself and God.; When God placed in my heart “that when I forgave others in my heart I would bring that person or opinion directly to God; creating in that action a true prayer from a heart of truth for their spiritual well being and that act would in no way be left unnoticed.
Turning over my un-forgiveness and personal opinions of others to the Lord was not easy, I found out quickly that I could not do it; but I prayed to the Lord “the desire of my heart is to give all these things over to you Lord and anyone who has or will bring offense against me, teach me to forgive Sweet Jesus, that I might be pleasing before your eyes”.
I remember my journey to forgiveness; dealing with offense and depending on my own personal opinion of others like it was yesterday, I was walking around praising God feeling holy while living my everyday life with everyday emotions still very worldly, but something was changing; something inside had changed a barely noticeable change at first then I began to take notice. Every time I would pray the Lord’s prayer (which I believe is vital for us to do daily) when I got to that word “”as”” we forgive those who trespass against us….I would get stuck right there! Like I had no knowledge of the next line…This really started to work on my mind, I had a lot to be forgiven for – but, I knew through my confession Jesus had forgiven me and washed them all away. Why then every time I pray I get stuck right there and why every time I prayed was I always thinking about:
Who had hurt me…
Who had betrayed me…
Who had angered me…
Who had done unspeakables to me…
Who had never loved me….
Who had abandoned me…
Who had shamed me…
Who had lied about me…
Who had shamed me…
And that is a list that could go on forever, for anyone. However in the beginning my mind would focus on that one person that I knew I could not forgive…. Every time I prayed, I thought of them. And I literally argued with God~~~ “God I cannot forgive them”~~~~ they hurt me beyond repair, then I would be able to put it away for a time, then it would start over. Only there was a difference…I began to pray Lord I do not know how to forgive them, please teach me your ways Lord that I might be forgiving….
And God took me on a journey I will never forget for the next several years even to today …As he taught me, that every un-forgiveness was like a piece of stone in my heart, hardening it, and that he loved me, and he writes on the softened flesh of a heart and that soften flesh was found in the heart of those who forgive. And there was a few on my list that literally took years to forgive, especially when dealing with family members and opinions I had drawn over the years. God showed me that my opinion about a person could prove lethal in the forgiveness encounter. I think our personal opinions are some of the hardest trials of the heart to submit. However my witness to this is the rewards are spectacular.
The new cleansed outlook can be refreshing and it gives you the opportunity to look on people without reproach, fear or anticipation of either. I spoke to you of rewards; your inward reward is an intimacy with Christ which grows in each act of forgiveness, every submission and renewal of opinion; with a stead fast faith you are covered and protected to love your neighbor, which is re-assurance in the age of multiplied evil. My outward reward was truly far fetching as the act of communion became a true joining with the Lord that goes beyond anything I can relate in mere words. Several of my outward sins remain even to this day; however with time I have faith they will fall away to the degree my Lord Jesus Christ has planned in my destiny. 1 John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. From this I gather sin is part of the worldly existence less God be a liar; which is perplexing as I seek my Jesus face, knowing He paid the full price for my sins yet in some sins I still dwell. Lord Jesus have mercy on us all. So I stand firmly on the promises of God as written in 1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
Today and every day the flesh of my heart still finds a few offenses for the day and stony patches, I turn that offense over to God; sometimes it is within my heart to just forgive other times I look to Jesus with this prayer “Jesus, I cannot find it in my heart to forgive this person, please show me your mercy and guide me to forgive ______ and those I find unforgivable.” And in time I found myself re-evaluating, finding out something I never knew about the situation, my sensitivity or my feelings seemed to change. Until I could bring that person or situation to the Lord with real love and concern in my heart for that person and their spiritual well being. Jesus working is what I have always called it! And with every new day and every old or new act of forgiveness came spiritual growth that was above and beyond measure.
Is forgiveness an important part of the Christian walk….It has been for me! It is the event that draws me close to God. If you do not know what your spiritual state is, look in your heart, and see how many pebbles, rocks or boulders are blocking your next spiritual growth experience. You see God’s Forgiveness towards me was instant but my forgiveness of others was a journey toward knowing my God intimately. You will be amazed at how situations just change or defuse when you pass them on to Jesus. Of course you have to leave them with Jesus and not pick them back up…but, that is a whole new writing. Was it a smooth journey? No! Am I still on it, Yes!
